09 December, 2011

Absence...

OK. I am obviously slacking again on this blogging thing?!? Must love blogging...Must love blogging!!!

Life has been busy lately and the last 2 months have just been a little rough, to say the least.

Craig Perry, my co-worker that I blogged in September about, has lost his battle with cancer. I love his family and feel for them so much. I have never experienced so much grief and anxiety before (I never had anyone close to me die) and I have to say I am not good with it, at all! In fact, I am still struggling with Craig's death and it has really been impacting me. I am trying to get out of negative thinking patterns but I do catch myself going back and losing myself in worse-case scenarios. It's hard to lose someone close to you and I realized that I am not as strong as I thought I was. I am slowly trying to regain my confidence and live for a fun-filled future...I am getting there...I am almost back to normal with only the occasional set-back. I never thought that I would reach a state of numbness and feeling of stand still that would hinder me to do anything. I did, and I now realize that being healthy is the most important aspect of anyone's life, if you are not healthy (mentally & physically), you are not able to live a full life. I finally realized that real struggles ( I never have had a real struggle before) in life are not easy to deal with and that only if you have a strong support system you can overcome those. I luckily do, I love Craig so much and he has been there for me all along. He tries to understand me and picks me up when I struggle. I love him and he loves me and we have become really close these past months.

Well, so much for my current state of mind, let's move onto more fun things. Craig will graduate with his BS in Communications/Journalism from UVU next week. I am proud of him and so excited we can move on with our lives now that he has reached this big milestone. He has also found a job with Hyatt Hotels in Park City. He is really excited and I am happy to finally have a second full-time employee contributing to our family's finances! With Craig also working in Park City, we will most likely move back to PC within this year, if we can sell our house! We will see...I hope it all works out and we can be back at our old stomping ground with friends that are dear to us. I will have my running buddies, we can join a night-life (non-existent in Utah County) again, go snowboarding anytime and most importantly will have a short commute to work, ohhh and save a bunch of money on gas!

Talking about work, my job has been very stressful lately and probably did not contribute to help me overcome my struggles. Now that I have a lot of responsibility and passed the one year mark in my new role, the pressure is on. Between juggling my countless and demanding accounts around the world, I have been working on developing a consumer website for the Japanese market and running a subsidiary in Japan. I have had quite the learning curve over the past year and as much as I stress over it, I love it. I mean I worked all along towards being in a position like this, with lots of responsibility where I can utilize my acquired business school skills...but I never thought it would kick my butt this much! I am currently working on a big business analysis for the Japan operation that I am running and I am having to present it to our CEO...I am seriously stressing because I am finding all of these unfavorable things with this business that lead me to the conclusion to close it down...yet then again it is a huge opportunity to shine and turn the business around! What to do? I need to develop the business...can I? Only time will tell! I am growing in my new role but I also need to be patient because I am not perfect and will not be a superstar that has genius ideas on how to grow a business within a year...I would love to be a superstar but I am not! Another realization over the past two months!

In 2 weeks we will go on a 2 week vacation. I really need this one, can you tell! We will celebrate Christmas in Orlando, Florida with Craig's side of the family. Everyone gets to pick a day to plan an activity and Craig & I will definitely do a beach day, possibly St. Petersburg. On the 28th, Craig & I will fly from Orlando to Geneva, Switzerland to stay for a week at my family's cabin. I am so so so happy we are taking this trip! Craig and I will be by ourselves for the first 3 days and for New Year's Eve and I can't wait to spend quality time in this amazing place with my hubby. I think we deserve it and this is my graduation present to Craig. My parents will join us the day after New Years for 5 days and we will hopefully have amazing snow to play in. I am already picturing us eating amazing food, snowboarding all day and then go to these hot-tub thermal places nestled in the Alps. It makes me happy!  I can't wait...I love that place so much and I hope I will be able to take my kids there one day.

On April 1st, I will run a half marathon in my hometown Berlin with my friend Alison, my dad and my high-school friend Melanie. So excited for this little adventure. I have been running on my lunch breaks with Alison and hope that training in the mountains will help me with improving on my time. I have not done serious long runs because I don't want to start training too early. I have been doing 4 milers and I am starting to feel good, so time to start dong 5-6 milers. I am now working on my base and I will start training when I come back from Switzerland in January. I told my dad to bring his running clothes to the cabin. This way we can run in the mornings down into town to get fresh chocolate croissants for breakfast...I am thinking great idea...maybe we find the motivation to also run back up instead of taking the convenient bus?

Soooo...I will still have to do my 2011 Recap. I will seriously have to stop procrastinating if I want to finally start journalling our life!


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